Be Careful Means I Love You

Tonight I was on the way out the door to look at a bicycle I had found listed on Craig's List.  I got instructions from my sweet husband on how to tell if the frame was bent - that tip made me feel like I really knew what I was doing.  Awesome.  Let's hunt it down, check it out, and bring it home - I AM WOMAN!


As I was leaving the house I knocked on my Mama's door to let her know about my little adventure.  She got "that look" on her face.  You know the one.  Eyebrows scrunched together, head tilted slightly forward, mouth with just a touch of downturn.  "Is it at someones' house?" she asks.  "Yeah." I say nonchalantly trying to sidle out the door before she can ask another question.  Quickly she says, "Are you going by yourself?"  "Yup", I say in a lilty kind of tone, "I'll be right back!"  And then - the two words that always make me feel like I'm a 5 year old trying to cross a freeway by myself - BE CAREFUL!!!  She doesn't actually say the words loudly, as the capital letters would suggest, that's just the way I hear them.


This has been going on my entire life.  I am a happy go lucky, Type A personality.  I am sensible, but also convinced that nothing bad is going to happen to me.  My sweet Mom is a bit of a worrier - hopefully getting less so all the time.  She LOOOOOOOOOOOVES her family so very much.  She often thinks of all of the boogie men in the world as soon as you tell her where you're going.  She can imagine each and every scenario that could happen with all of those "crazy people" out there - and she does it in an instant!  You can see her wheels turning!


I am ashamed to admit that tonight I actually ROLLED MY EYES at my Mom as I was leaving.  Now this might be common for some, but shouldn't be when I am in my 50's and she in her 70's!!  I haven't done that in so many years I didn't realize I still knew how!  I said good-bye and that I would "be careful" in a tone of voice that could only be used by one who didn't think there was anything to fear and  you were being silly if you thought there was. Yikes.  I hate to even write this and tell on myself.


I felt convicted of my ridiculous reaction before I ever got out of the driveway.  I knew I would apologize sincerely as soon as I got home.  I asked God to forgive me for being so rude to my precious Mom who loves me in the way only a mother can.  I began to think about the phrase "be careful" and why she ALWAYS says it.  


For my Mom be careful means I know bad things happen to good people all of the time.  She has learned that the last time you see someone step out the door could really be the last time.  She knows that driving can be dangerous, accidents happen, strangers are not always nice, and sometimes we just do things that are not safe without realizing it.  She is "sure" I'll be fine, but not completely sure.  She is only sure of that when we are side by side.  She wants to do whatever she can to have everything go perfectly - even if I'm just going to the corner store (especially if it is dark.).  She is a Mom.  She takes care of me.  And I take care of her.


I realize that I have told my own adult children to "be careful".  I laugh at myself when I do it and I know they feel the same way I do.  I am not a big worrier so it doesn't happen often, but I try not to let it happen at all.  Even though, it has become clear to me that "be careful" really just means, I love you and I want you to always be safe.


So tonight I learned two valuable things.  I took that tip from my hubby and spun that bike wheel around only to see it wobble like wild weeble!  The bike did not come home.  The second, and far more valuable lesson is to accept and treasure my mother's love and care for me - any way she says it!


Be careful Mom - and I will too.